“You want to be happy. We
all do. You just need to figure out how to get there. I don’t think any one
person can make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy,” said Freemont
Jackson, one of my characters in A
Message in the Roses… “As to being content long-term, that has to come from
within.”
Easy to say or write about,
but how do we actually achieve that long-term contentment?
A Benedictine monk claims
the answer is simple. We need to slow down, look where we’re going and be
grateful.
If we stop and look before
we go, we can better take advantage of the opportunities life has to offer, Monk
David Steindl-Rast said on a recent NPR program. And if we miss one
opportunity, another one will come along soon, according to Monk David.
“Grateful people are joyful
people,” he said. “If we’re grateful, we’re not fearful. If we’re not fearful,
we’re not violent.”
A long time ago, I
discovered I’m happier when I count my blessing, though for many years, I searched
for bliss, and I’ve listened to my share of happiness experts. One such expert,
Author Shawn Achor, said we would all be happier if we do the following activities
every day:
1. Think of three new
things for which you’re thankful. Repeat this exercise for 21 days so the
practice will become habitual. Also share your gratitude with your significant
other and friends. Then ask them to reveal their three new blessings. Sharing
doubles your happiness, he said.
2. To double your optimism, take two minutes to write down your
gratitude and your most meaningful experiences. Again do this every day for 21
days.
3. Add 15 minutes of a fun activity to your day, Achor said.
This must be a physical activity like walking the dog or gardening. (I love
walking my dog P-Nut. She definitely knows how to live in the moment. I think
she’s trying to teach me. Of course, I’m always in the moment when I’m writing.)
Achor didn’t include hugging and making love as fun activities. They certainly
qualify. (I know Carrie Sue Justice, my protagonist in A Message in the Roses,
would think so).
4. Smile at least three times every day. Smiling increases the
serotonin in the brain apparently.
5. Get social, if you want to charge your happiness battery.
People can motivate you more than anything, Achor said. So take time to encourage
and motivate others. In other words, spread the happiness.
I like the idea of spreading happiness. If only we could
somehow, magically, make everyone in the world more grateful, unafraid, nonviolent,
and ultimately content. Swoosh, just make it happen. Wouldn’t that be
wonderful? #happiness
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Good post Sandy! I totally agree that happiness has to come from within. I did a happiness workshop many moons ago. I began by asking everyone who came into my office that week if they were happy. Not one person said yes, they all had to think about it. Folks think they need big things to be happy, but you don't. Finding a little thing that makes you smile is a great start. Thanks for reminding me to be grateful too!
ReplyDeleteI think we all need to be reminded to be grateful, Victoria. I certainly do. Like anything else worth having, happiness takes work, I think. :)
DeleteInteresting post. Happiness comes for me in short bursts. Contentment is usually present. I agree that this is an inner feeling and no one can make you happy but people can bring happy moments
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked it, Janet. I agree people can bring you moments of happiness. When I was younger I used to allow events and other people to make or break my day, but since I've learned not to depend on those things and others for my happiness, I'm much happier. Of course I work at being grateful and try to follow my bliss, as the philosopher Joseph Campbell has recommended.
DeleteGreat post, Sandy. So true. Happiness comes from within and we can generate our own by looking at all the good things we have instead of feeling sorry for the one thing we don't have.
ReplyDeleteSuch a wonderful post. Because I work with disabled people and a few of my friends are disabled or have serious health problems I hate to hear healthy folk who have all the things they really need complain continually about what they haven't got.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Sandy, some very wise words.
ReplyDeleteAll true--especially the pets and gardening. Also get active--join a fitness class--you'll get some smiles out of that and some human contact, too.
ReplyDelete